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This period marks a full decade since the word “disappearing” hit the common lexicon. Back then, the concept that someone could suddenly stop communication with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the peak of disrespect. Our innocence was charming. In the 10 years since, finding a partner has only become more bewildering – an oftentimes fruitless pursuit in humiliation that is increasingly pigeonholed by online slang.

Zoomers, a demographic who came of age during a loneliness crisis, a masculinity reckoning, and a widespread attack on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic environment than their Gen Y forerunners could ever fathom. And so their dating lexicon has grown longer and more unhinged, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” pushing the boundaries of your sanity.

Below is a comprehensive breakdown to the terms gen Z is using to navigate love, sex and the quest of both. To paraphrase one of the recent most popular online sayings, by the end of this glossary you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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A

Genuineness – For Zoomers, romance's gold standard is showing up as your true, raw self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A TikTok trend loosely based on a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something minor – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your date's response is interested or disinterested. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner puts herself first while oozing enigma and independence. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

C

Support test – This signifies seeking out someone who aids you proactively. If you entered a room, they would fetch a seat for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A outing where two people connect while running errands, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped twentysomethings do budget-friendly romance in a post-cheap-date world.

Emotional spiral – Losing it when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or split, venting all of your unreciprocated feelings.

The Letter D

DINK – Double income, no kids. Once a signifier of 1980s young urban professional excess, it refers to pairs who choose against having children to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The opposite of playing it cool: embracing dialogue, transparency and openness.

F

Indicators

• Red flags – Behavioral traits suggesting a potential partner is trouble. Examples include calling their former partners unstable, bad tipping habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Good indicators – These quirks validate your choice to pursue a partner. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, having a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These typically describe specific, largely benign idiosyncrasies. Such as being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still carrying around a pen in their bag, paying rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the WWII or DVD collecting or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who despises the same stuff or people that you do (few things creates closeness faster than having a common enemy).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy is into.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of silence.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The rare boyfriend who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Gooners – A mostly online community of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately postponing orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An archetype touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and happily domestic, who apparently has no ambitions of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Random and usually everyday turnoffs that instantly extinguish any feelings of desire.

“He would if he cared" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an extremely thoughtful gesture.

J

Careers – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in professions they believe are being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16m years. But the era of locking lips may be numbered since some gen Z want fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen romance realistic.

Light catfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {